Guatemala images

Luke and mama went to storytime (singing and a simple book) at the base library today. He hung back with mama for the 1st half-hour, just sitting on my lap. After the structured time was over, he did venture out a little bit to check out some toys and cruise along some furniture.

He has been needing held and reassured more the last couple days. Not sure if it is because he misses dad when he's at work, misses Vania and family, or is just generally a little out of sorts. Nonetheless, we recognize how critical it is for him to learn that he is here for good, that we are mama and daddy, and that he is part of our family. It's hard to imagine exactly what goes through his head sometimes after the major life changes he's recently been through, and it's impossible to know when he finally understands and accepts this new reality. Most adoption experts estimate it takes several weeks to months for that to occur, depending on the child. For now, he will know that we are there to feed him, hold him, get him drinks, comfort him, protect him, and always love him. Of course we have known about him for over a year, and we understand adoption, but he's just a little tot who doesn't know any of that yet!

Luke and mama went to the base yesterday for a nice baby shower held for us and an airman whose wife is expecting soon. Luke got many toys, only one of which we have unpackaged for use so for. Trying not to overwhelm him with stuff. Interestingly, he is still heading straight back for the kleenex box, tupperwear lid, and some of 'his' mail (shiny stuff that he can chew on w/o getting inky). I'm sure he will eventually figure out that the actual toys are cool, too.

I'm going to take Anna's recs and try one of the other photo sites for our next download and see if it's as easy as she makes it sound:)

Luke is napping--IMO, if you are ready for a nap at 8AM, you probably need to sleep a little later in the morning!! That at least gives me time for clean-up, a load of laundry, and some computer time.

As expected for a 13 month old new arrival to the household (and country!), we are having lots of holding and hugging time. Luke can entertain himself for a few minutes a couple times a day, but usually one or both of us are right there with him. It is an important way for him to attach to his new parents, and for us to get to know him and his personality better.

From reading and talking with other adoptive parents, it seems like as a group they (we) are extra-paranoid about 'doing the right thing.' First, we HAD to do the right thing, to the letter, to even have the chance to adopt--piles of paperwork, triple certifications, 'can you fax this today?' requests, FBI checks, home study, etc. We have been ingrained to follow the rules closely. On top of that, we then accept responsibility to raise a child that someone else gave birth to. The bio. mom felt she was not able to provide for him, so we inherently feel like we darn well better! And then we have a dear little toddler who has already formed loving attachments to his foster family, and we pluck him out of the only home he has known. No wonder we are paranoid:) Is the crying typical one-year old fussing, grieving for foster family, confusion, anger, normal requests for food, diaper change, drink, play, sleep, etc? Many of the attachment problems in adopted children are seen in kids who did not develop strong relationships during infancy and early childhood, like children in abusive homes or understaffed orphanages. However, it's still hard not to worry that we might harm him by doing or not doing any number of things--we don't want to scar the boy!

So, we are trying to be mindful of his unique position, while not going overboard into OCD.


On a side note, does anyone know how to change the picture size? I saved most of our recent pics to snapfish, and then from there into 'my pictures' in Windows Vista. Josh pointed out that some just show up as thumbnail size, and I don't know how to change that. Thanks!!

Dad headed back to work today, so just mama and Luke at home. We did all right. We had to go to the base anyway so he could get an immunization, so we had lunch with Aaron. Today I shifted Luke from the pack/play in our room to his crib in his room for naptime. There were multiple attempts for both naps to convince him that sleeping when you're tired is a good thing, but he ultimately snoozed just fine (and is snoozing now, which is why I'm typing).

I do have some new pics from the trip and our first few days back. I'll try to get those up here and on snapfish in the next couple days. The struggle is that apparently Windows Vista (on the 'good' computer) is not compatible with our dig. camera. So I have to set up the other laptop (slow, grumpy) to download pics, and hope that it doesn't overheat and shut itself off while I'm working. Turns an easy task into a pain in the rear sometimes. Oh well.

I do hope that Anna gets some non-crappy news soon...

Everyone is feeling MUCH better! Luke had a rough couple of nights, with lots of waking and crying, but last night was smoother, and hopefully will be more the norm. Then mama and dad will have less waking and crying too:) Today he has been his typical (or as typical as we know) happy self. He likes to clap, sing to himself, make funny noises, try to cruise around furniture, and give big smiles, with a little whine mixed in here and there.

He had his first ped. appt yesterday, and had to put up with a shot. Dad and he both had a tough time with that. Back next week for more shots/blood draws. Mom will take care of that.

A quick update--we got home (yea!!) yesterday afternoon. While in GT, we spent time with Luke's foster family, visiting the zoo, the archaeology museum and going out to eat. He loved the pool at the hotel. There were many other families there for their 'pick-up' trips, so it was nice to be able to meet them and hear their stories. The Marriott has a nice baby lounge, so there were always people there playing, calming, distracting, etc. Luke is definitely an observer, and was usually content to watch the others, only rarely getting into the mix playing.

Unfortunately, mama got sick yesterday, so was little help to dad on the trip home. Today I am feeling a little better, but still not terribly energetic. We are hoping no one else gets the GI bug.

Luke has definitely been a daddy's boy. If he has the choice, he'll head to dad. Several families commented that they were having the same experience. Perhaps it's because they were all so close to their FM. It hasn't really been too bad since we've gotten home. It will be nice to just be here and start getting into a routine. He is kind of out of sorts with the travel, early mornings, moving to another country:), etc. But all in all, about what we expected.

I'm off to hydrate...

So today we head to Guatemala. We will arrive this evening, so Vania (Luke's FM) will bring him to the hotel in the morning, and we'll be able to spend time with them as well. What a trip. I think there's still a little anxiety regarding the adoption itself--what if we forget/lose some important document, could we be the one in a million in which something gets botched at the end, etc. I think those are fantasy worries, but they exist none-the-less.

We're excited to see Luke tomorrow, knowing that once he arrives, he's with us for good! We'll be returning as a family on Wednesday.

It is still nearly unbelievable that we will have Luke home with us in less than a week. After all the fretting, waiting, wondering, adjusting, readjusting.... we really are nearly finished! His room is certainly not fully 'stocked' but I think we have the essentials for our return home. Once he's here, I think it will be easier to figure out what we need where.

For now, it's time to pack and make sure that we have all the things we need to take to Guat!